Firewalls and Friendships: Building a Balanced Professional Network

### **Talk Description and Outline:**

Many DevOps professionals excel at designing technical systems but struggle with intentionally designing their professional networks. Some find networking overwhelming or inauthentic. Others maintain relationships only with their immediate circle. Some become "takers" rather than "givers," while others fear asking for anything. When AI can write your Terraform configs, what makes you invaluable is your ability to influence, collaborate, and navigate complex human systems.

I'll demonstrate how to apply systems networking concepts to professional relationship-building through three key phases:

**1. Define & Segment:**

* System architecture goals => career objectives
* Subnetting by function => relationship categories (Stakeholders, First Team, Direct Reports, Base)
* Principle of least privilege => intentional relationship investment
* Case studies of "The Builder," "The Anchor," "The Advocate," and other common patterns

**2. Firewall & Automate:**

* Setting inbound/outbound rules => establishing interaction patterns
* Creating automated checks => systematic relationship maintenance
* Building CI/CD pipelines => scheduling regular check-ins
* Avoiding the boundary deficit (saying "no") and just-in-time networking traps
* Communication fidelity: when Slack isn't enough

**3. Monitor & Adjust:**

* Tracking system health => relationship health metrics
* Monitoring threats => identifying reciprocity imbalances
* Analyzing performance patterns => energy and influence flows
* Creating a simple non-weird system for relationship data collection
* Internal vs. external network balance

### **Audience Takeaways:**

With examples from my own experiences and using systems networking metaphors, the audience will take away answers to the following questions:

* If you’re intentional and genuine and the other person is not, what do you do? Are they worth keeping in your network?
* What do I do if I’m just shy and awkward? Networking feels impossible.
* How do you spot takers who never give?
* What do you do when you need to ask for something from your network? How do you actually ask for a favor without them thinking that you’re a taker?

### **Who is this talk for?**

DevOps professionals who want to apply their systems thinking skills to improve their career outcomes and find greater satisfaction in their work relationships.

### **What makes me qualified to give this talk?**

I changed my career into DevOps engineering in my late thirties, and career networking played a significant role in my job search, but I also just really love it. I was a DevOpsDays organizer for a few years when I lived in Dallas, led the Boulder Cloud Community Meetup for a couple of years, and enjoy connecting with people through my blog. I think networking can be a gamechanger for underrepresented folks, so I write a lot about it and use it as a teaching opportunity for all those I mentor.

The Trust Era: Creating Conditions for Authentic Professional Development

As we look at the history of work, all the way from pre-industrialization to the AI-era, the way that we have built skills has evolved greatly. In the age of AI, we have information on demand like never before, so much so that L&D budgets will begin to look like AI subscriptions. But why do organizations still struggle? What’s missing from our toolbelts from ages past?

Connection and our ability to navigate complex human systems. This talk will explore why I struggled with using current tooling to strengthen my professional relationships, and what I learned about creating conditions for authentic growth that leads to greater professional advantage and business outcomes.

**The Evolution of Work**

* History of skill-building
* Pre-industrial age - apprenticeships
* Industrialization - concrete skills
* Technology era - knowledge building
* AI era - on-demand information
* L&D budgets will look like AI subscriptions

Q: Why do organizations still struggle? What’s missing from this era that we had in our toolbelts in ages past?

A: Connection and our ability to navigate complex human systems

**Employees Relationship with HR**

* **The Problem:** People don’t trust current tools to use them honestly.
* **The Fear:** That what you track in HR tools can be read without their knowledge and used against them
* **The Workaround: **People create their own systems of docs and spreadsheets, but they are usually unorganized and ineffective.
* **The Irony: **If you really want people to engage in the people-side of their jobs, you need to enable an environment of honesty and vulnerability, and to do this they need privacy.

**The Business Case for Trust**

* **The Data: **High-trust organizations outperform their peers, usually retain talent longer
* **The Rationale: **When AI can mimic your technical skills, what makes you valuable is your ability to influence, collaborate, and navigate complex human systems.
* **The Competitive Advantage: **Being able to build a community of trust, helpfulness, and mutual support drives business success
* **HR’s New Role: **Less about managing, more about creating an environment where relationship building and collaboration can thrive

**The Metrics Temptation**

HR is very good at measuring everything, but beware of measuring employee connections in favor of creating an environment where connections can flourish.

Connections flourish when:

* You provide privacy-first solutions
* People feel supported and trusted to do their jobs
* They feel a sense of agency and autonomy in their work

Connections are blocked when people don’t feel trusted. Resist the urge to:

* Not allow privacy
* Measure network activity
* Track relationship building participation
* Enforce connections

**Conclusion - **Create conditions for authentic relationships, then trust people to build them.

**Audience Takeaways:**

* Learn why employees aren’t using your tools for their professional growth
* Discover which metrics enable authentic growth without stifling it
* Understand your role in this new era - creating conditions for growth rather than monitoring outcomes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvNeiILKHF0&list=PLPECrO0ROcqroVyQsdQpbVMUBLvbzXbI

Systematizing Empathy: Applying DevOps Rigor to the People Side of Our Jobs

In DevOps we've systematized delivery, but we've been very nebulous about defining how to do empathy and culture, so it has turned into being nice to each other but we're left to our own devices as to what that means. I want to take an honest look at the history of DevOps. I’ll share with you about what I’ve seen work when systematizing empathy and what fails miserably.

You'll leave with a specific system you can implement Monday morning, not another corporate development class, but permission to be intentional about creating a good company culture of mutual support and empathy.

## Overview:

* The platform team compromise
* Fear of systematizing empathy
* Stories of what intentional support looks like
* Practical Monday morning advice

We’ve all half-laughed at the fact that years of DevOps cultural initiatives to break down siloes have turned into the creation of the platform team. We’re pretty good at systematizing delivery, but we would balk at the idea of systematizing empathy, a core DevOps principle…to our detriment.

Company culture is created by what people are doing, not saying.

Everyone gets visions of Jira-madness when we say to systematize anything. They get overwhelmed and stop listening. In addition, systematizing your relationships conjures up feelings of fear of being seen as manipulative or using your friends. We can agree that both of those things are bad.

But I want to stress that a system is anything that helps you to be intentional and consistent. It works best when it’s a personal decision, not an enforced, top-down system.

I’ll share personal experiences showing why intentional support of your colleagues works better than random acts of kindness. It creates a community of support which has real business value as well as creates an environment conducive to creativity, productivity, and contentment.

You’ll walk away with a practical guide for how to implement this on Monday morning, putting words into action.

## The audience will take away answers to the following questions:

1. What keeps us from helping people, and how do we create an intention of support with our colleagues when we’re overwhelmed with our own jobs or lives?
2. How can we map our skills and privilege against other people's constraints?
3. How do I systematize empathy with authenticity, without appearing manipulative or cold?

Playlist of past speaking engagements: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvNeiILKHF0&list=PLPECrO0ROcqroVyQsdQpbVMUBLvbzXbIM