The Mythology of 'Real Programmers': Dismantling 30 Years of Gatekeeping

"Real programmers use vim." "Real programmers don't need Stack Overflow." "Real programmers work 80-hour weeks." Enough. This keynote systematically destroys the toxic myths that keep talented people out of tech and make the rest of us miserable. Through humor, hard truths, and audience participation, we'll examine where these myths came from, why they persist, and how they're literally costing us innovation. You'll leave armed with responses to gatekeepers, strategies for building inclusive teams, and permission to use whatever IDE makes you happy. Time to redefine what "real programmers" actually do: solve problems and support each other.

The Last Human Skill: Why Empathy Is Your Competitive Advantage in the AI Era

AI can write code, debug problems, and even attend meetings for us. So what's left for humans? Everything that matters. This keynote explores why the rise of AI makes human skills more valuable, not less. Through interactive demonstrations and audience participation, we'll discover how empathy drives better architecture decisions, why emotional intelligence beats artificial intelligence in team dynamics, and how understanding people (not just code) makes you irreplaceable. Expect unexpected exercises, surprising research, and a new perspective on what it means to be a developer when machines can code.

The Hidden Cost of Technical Debt: A Manager's Guide to Refactoring ROI

Ever struggled to explain why you need time to fix old code when 'it's working fine'? This talk shows you how to speak your boss's language about technical debt. You'll learn how to prove that bad code is actually slowing your team down, put real dollar amounts on the cost of not refactoring, and make a business case that gets executives nodding instead of eye-rolling. I'll share stories from teams who successfully convinced their companies to invest in code cleanup - including what worked, what didn't, and the spreadsheets that sealed the deal

The Five Dysfunctions of a dev Team

This tech talk will help PHP developers and management understand the significance of teamwork and how to address common dysfunctions within their teams, ultimately improving collaboration and productivity in PHP development projects.

The Art of Code Reviews: Building Culture Through Constructive Feedback

Let's make code reviews suck less. I'll teach you how to give feedback that actually helps instead of hurts, create a team culture where reviews are learning opportunities (not ego battles), and balance being thorough without becoming the bottleneck everyone hates. Includes actual templates for review comments that won't make your coworkers cry.

The Courage to Be Wrong: How Failure Shaped Every Success Story in Tech

We've built an industry on the myth of the 10x developer who never makes mistakes. But here's the truth: every breakthrough came from someone brave enough to be spectacularly wrong first. This interactive keynote celebrates our failures - from production outages to rejected pull requests - as the hidden curriculum that actually teaches us to code. I'll share stories of catastrophic failures that led to industry-changing innovations, lead the audience through a "failure celebration" exercise, and show why psychological safety isn't just HR buzzword but the secret sauce of high-performing teams. You'll leave with permission to fail, frameworks for learning from mistakes, and the confidence to take bigger swings.

Memory Management Mastery: Understanding PHP's Garbage Collection

Ever had a PHP script eat all your RAM and die? Let's fix that. This deep dive into PHP's memory management shows you how to find and plug memory leaks, why your long-running scripts keep crashing, and how PHP actually decides what to keep in memory. Perfect for anyone building APIs, queue workers, or anything that runs longer than a typical web request.

Connection Over Code: Building the Career That GitHub Can't Show

Your GitHub graph might be green, but is your career fulfilling? This keynote reveals the invisible work that actually advances careers - the mentoring, the community building, the difficult conversations, and the relationships that no commit history can capture. Through interactive exercises and surprising research, we'll explore why the best opportunities come from people (not job boards), how to build authentic professional relationships (without being creepy), and why helping others succeed is the fastest path to your own success. Includes a live "networking without the ick factor" workshop and takeaway strategies for building meaningful connections in a digital world.

Beyond OOP: Functional Programming Patterns in Modern PHP

Think functional programming is just for Haskell nerds? Think again. I'll show you how to use functional techniques to write PHP code that's easier to test and harder to break. We'll explore when immutable data structures make sense, how to use map/filter/reduce without looking pretentious, and why pure functions might just save your sanity. No math degree required.

Streamlining Development: Transitioning Git Repos to Gitflow for Scalable Collaboration

As development teams grow and projects become more complex, managing code efficiently becomes crucial. This talk dives into the process of transitioning your Git repositories to Gitflow, a branching model designed to enhance collaboration and release management. I’ll walk through the step-by-step approach to implementing Gitflow, including how it helps teams streamline feature development, hotfixes, and releases. Attendees will gain insights into the tangible benefits, such as reduced merge conflicts, improved CI/CD integration, and clearer workflows for parallel feature development. Whether you're managing a small team or scaling up, adopting Gitflow can significantly boost your team's efficiency and code quality.

Securing Your PHP Applications in 2025: Best Practices for the Modern Web

Security threats evolve, and so should your defenses. This session will highlight the latest security best practices and tools for PHP developers in 2025, including techniques for preventing common vulnerabilities such as SQL injection, CSRF, XSS, and newer attacks. We’ll also cover topics like integrating advanced authentication mechanisms, API security, and leveraging secure development practices to ensure robust protection for your web applications.

Docker For Dev Teams [2024]

Create for your dev team a seamless workflow including CI/CD, Testing and easy onboarding with Docker.

PHP 8: Reclassifying Engine Warnings or $sloppy = 1;

Dive into the dynamic world of PHP internals with a journey from RFC to PHP 8. Explore the debates and decisions behind pivotal features like error handling for Undefined Variable, Undefined Array Index, and Division by Zero. Witness firsthand how Nikita Popov and the PHP internal team navigated diverse viewpoints—from preserving PHP's dynamic flexibility to advocating for stricter error enforcement. Discover the collaborative process that balances legacy support with modern developer needs, offering insights into how you can contribute to shaping PHP's future.

OWASP Top 10 2021 for Developers

Cybersecurity is non-negotiable in today's digital landscape. Join me in a deep dive into the OWASP Top 10 list—an essential guide to understanding and mitigating web application vulnerabilities. Through real-life case studies and practical examples, we'll dissect common exploits such as injection flaws, broken authentication, and sensitive data exposure. Learn how these vulnerabilities can be exploited and, more importantly, how to defend against them effectively. Whether you're a seasoned developer or new to security practices, this session will equip you with actionable insights to safeguard your applications and elevate your coding practices.

This talk will introduce, walk-through and leave you prepared to engage with the internet’s best defense against hacking! I will familiarize you with OWASP and where they came from, what they do and where they are going. We will step through some challenges in the Juice Shop demo they have, familiarizing everyone with the project. I will also show off some other work by OWASP that is leading the way in defense against hackers.
What is OWASP? - 10 min
XXE - 5 min
Proactive > Reactive - 10 min
The Mind of an Attacker - 20 min
OWASP ZAP - 10 min

Creating an API with Laravel Octane

Unlock the full potential of Laravel Octane in this comprehensive 3-hour workshop dedicated to building high-performance APIs. Dive deep into leveraging Octane's powerful features to optimize and scale your Laravel applications effortlessly. From setting up and configuring Octane for maximum efficiency to exploring advanced techniques for handling concurrent requests and boosting throughput, this workshop equips you with hands-on experience and real-world strategies. Whether you're new to Octane or looking to master its capabilities, join us to accelerate your API development and elevate your Laravel expertise to the next level.

A local dev environment is required as well as the basic understandings of APIs and PHP.

Tmux and Vim for fun and profit

Command line is king. Learn how to take advantage of your ssh sessions with tips and tricks to impress your friends and improve your performance