Rendle .
Chief Everything Officer
Guildford, United Kingdom
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Rendle is the founder of RendleLabs, which provides consulting services and workshops to .NET development teams across all industries. Their particular obsessions are API design and development, performance, Observability and code-base modernisation, as well as eliminating unnecessary complexity wherever possible. They also use skills acquired during a few years as a professional stand-up comic to deliver entertaining and informative talks at conferences around the world, and recently learned to play bass so they could join tech parody band The LineBreakers.
Area of Expertise
Topics
Futurology for Developers - the Next 30 Years in Tech
2019 was the 30th anniversary of my first job in tech. On my first day I was given a Wyse 60 terminal attached via RS232 cables to a Tandon 286, and told to learn C from a dead tree so I could write text applications for an 80x24 character screen. Fast-forward to now: my phone is about a million times more powerful than that Tandon; screens are 3840x2160 pixels; every computer in the world is attached to every other thing with no cables; and we code using... still basically C.
Having lived through all these changes in realtime, and as an incurable neophile, I think I can make an educated guess as to what the next 30 years are going to be like, and what we're all going to be doing by 2049. If anything, I'm going to underestimate it, but hopefully you'll be inspired, invigorated and maybe even informed about the future of your career in tech.
High Performance .NET
Everyone should care about performance. It's not just about making your website or API or application fast, it's about doing more with less: cutting hosting costs by using smaller, cheaper instances, and reducing the environmental impact while you're at it.
In this talk, Mark will share how he took the One Billion Row Challenge from 2.2 minutes to 2.2 seconds using a variety of optimisation techniques. You will learn some simple patterns to improve the performance of your .NET code, and how to use BenchmarkDotNet to test your own algorithms.
Programming's Greatest Mistakes
Most of the time when we make mistakes in our code, a message gets displayed wrong or an invoice doesn’t get sent. But sometimes when people make mistakes in code, things literally explode, or bankrupt companies, or make web development a living hell for millions of programmers for years to come.
Join Mark on a tour through some of the worst mistakes in the history of programming. Learn what went wrong, why it went wrong, how much it cost, and how these things can be really funny when they’re not happening to you.
Locknote: The Albatross Project
Have you read The Phoenix Project? It’s really good. It’s about an absolute unit named Bill who rescues a failing software project with his magical DevOps powers.
Or maybe you’ve read The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, about a sailor who shoots an albatross and is cursed.
Anyway, this is a talk about working with management, expensive consultants and outsourcing.
How Simple Is "As Simple As Possible"?
Software engineering these days is out of control. Microservices and micro-frontends, modular monoliths, HTTP or gRPC APIs, messaging, event-driven, event-sourced... is it any wonder that projects run into trouble before they've even shipped anything?
A good response to this is to say "we should keep things as simple as possible." But how simple is that? In this talk we'll look at some patterns, processes, tools and services; ask whether we NEED them; and if we do, find the simplest possible solution. We'll look at abstractions and where they do and don't belong. And you will learn how to say "we don't need that," or at least "we don't need that yet."
The Worst Programming Language Ever
There's something good you can say about every programming language. But that's no fun. Instead, let's take the worst features of all the languages we know, and put them together to create an abomination with the worst syntax, the worst semantics, the worst foot-guns and the worst runtime behaviour in recorded history. Let's make a language so bad it would make people run screaming to Visual Basic for Applications.
How JavaScript Happened: A Short History of Programming Languages
JavaScript was famously created in 10 days as a proof-of-concept for Netscape Navigator 2.0. Today it is one of the most-used languages in the world. Some people even like it. In this talk we will chart the path from the dark days before programming languages, through the ups and downs of the early pioneers, all the way to 1995 and the creation of JavaScript.
We will meet the giants on whose shoulders Brendan Eich stood, and speculate about what they might think of modern JavaScript. You will learn interesting things about language design (good and bad), computer internals (weird), and committees (just bad). You’ll see FizzBuzz implemented at least a dozen times. It’ll be fun.
KanDDDinsky 2024 Sessionize Event
NDC Porto 2024 Sessionize Event
Copenhagen Developers Festival 2024 Sessionize Event
Azure & AI Lowlands 2024 Sessionize Event
NDC Oslo 2024 Sessionize Event
NDC London 2024 Sessionize Event
Build Stuff 2023 Lithuania Sessionize Event
NDC Oslo 2023 Sessionize Event
DevSum 2022 Sessionize Event
NDC Oslo 2021 Sessionize Event
Build Stuff 2020 Lithuania Sessionize Event
NDC Oslo 2020 Sessionize Event
Techorama 2020 BE Sessionize Event
Dev Around The Sun Sessionize Event
Code Camp NYC 2019 Sessionize Event
NDC Oslo 2019 Sessionize Event
NDC Porto 2019 Sessionize Event
NDC London 2019 Sessionize Event
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