In this session, two jaded cybersecurity architects will present a taxonomy of personae who passively or actively get in the way of good security, explain why it's all definitely your fault and express frustration that the golden age of cybersecurity is always escaping their grasp. With examples and humour/humor (if they can agree on a spelling), your hosts will encourage you to do better next time and point out all the obvious (to them) things you've been doing wrong all these years.