globalGlob.dev, the greatest site for (satire) developer news, was over-engineered to be fast, quick, highly performant, speedy, and most importantly, absurdly cheap to run. The site gets a 100 Lighthouse score on the important pages. Not 98. And certainly not 99. It takes a lot of work and bad ideas to make it to 100. You're caching, compressing, bundling, compressing bundles, and bundling compressed content, just to chase metrics. But the results speak for themselves. An incredibly fast website with small web pages.

We'll look at all the tradeoffs, tricks, and hacks globalGlob.dev made to reach fast site performance, low cost, and maximum Lighthouse. And review why every single thing done was a horrible idea you should never, ever do at work if you want to keep your job.