Some conversations feel like a game of ping-pong. People take turns talking, but never really hear each other. “Agreements” are reached when there’s no real agreement. Or one person feels like they’re being used to further an agenda they don’t even understand.
These conversations (including meetings!) can end with frustration, lack of alignment, and people pulling in different directions. They can also feel pretty icky.
Wholehearted conversations, on the other hand, create connection, understanding, and real agreement. Participants work together to fulfill the purposes of the conversation, and when it’s over, no one is saying “what just happened?”

In this interactive workshop, you’ll learn three elements that set the stage for wholehearted conversations. You'll also learn--and practice--practical ways to have fewer conversations that go nowhere, and more of the kind that lead to better connection, more productive meetings and more effective collaboration.

Introduction
Mind your boundaries, and take care of yourself
Exercise: Mindfulness (similar to but shorter than https://soundcloud.com/maitria/noticing)
What does it take to create the conditions for wholehearted conversation? (Empathy, being genuine, fondness)

Focused Listening
Empathetic listening for understanding
Empathy vs. Sympathy
Exercise: Follow your curiosity
This is a pair exercise, one person in the listening role, and one speaking.
The listener only speaks in questions, starting with "What brings you joy?"
-- practice listening, and notice what happens inside you
-- swap partners, repeat
Journaling and shares
(What happened while you were listening? How did you feel? What did you like about listening? How did it feel to be heard?)

Genuineness
Showing up with your whole self means having empathy for yourself
Creating space for yourself, responding more than reacting
Exercise: Where does it hurt?
Think of a time when someone did something that upset you. (At work, not something personal and huge, please.)
What was happening for you? What about it bothered you? What very human needs were feeling unmet?
Swap partners and repeat
Journaling and shares

(Note: Based on past experience, the first exercise, 5 minutes feels like forever. The second exercise, 10 minutes feels like no time at all.)

Empathy
Review: Empathy when it's hard
Responding as if everyone (including you) is doing their best
Practice self-empathy
Exercise: Vantage Dancing
Think of a time when someone did something that upset you. (At work, not something personal and huge, please.)
-- What was happening for you? What about it bothered you? What very human needs were feeling unmet?
-- What might have been happening for them? What was bothering them? What very human needs might have been feeling unmet for them?
Swap partners and repeat
Journaling and sharing

Bringing wholehearted conversations to work
In one-to-one conversations
• Ask first, or watch for indications (Can we dig into that a little?)
• Watch for signs the conditions aren't met. Don't talk to people who aren't able to hear you!
• Help your conversation partner feel heard
• Create that space for yourself between the happening and the response
In meetings
• As facilitator or participant, model listening (Listening is contagious)
• Gently challenge interruptions -- "I'd like to hear what Sarah has to say."
• Talk directly about agreements (shared needs)

Wholehearted Conversation practice
Exercise: Pair up again, but this time, no speaker/listener distinction.
Ask each other: What came up for you during this session? What was the experience like for you?