Project management is supposed to help us build software more efficiently, so why does it often feel like more of a hinderance? Do we really need SCRUM anyway? This talk is a pragmatic survival guide to help developers on projects with terrible project management. If you've ever been told by a Project Manager you can't do something because "it will effect the burndown chart" and yeeting said PM into the sun isn't an option - this talk will provide you efficient work-around strategies so you can spend more time doing what you love - writing code - and less time in frustrating, repetitive, and unproductive meetings.