Performance is a feature - that's ancient wisdom. So it's time to discuss the matter in detail, is it?

Why you can't watch a road without thinking of two dimensions of power, what software design and fast food franchisers have in common, and where priority really matters.
Let's learn the basics of profiling, about the backbites of parallel processing, from the Magic of Q, about scalability, to be the Master of the Time, and what is possible and what is not.

Let's talk about Queueing Theory, have fun with average values, play with the user's feeling of performance and degradation, joking with throughput and response time.
Let's use hard and soft elbows, visual helpers, a bucket and a wall clock.
The overhead of the talk is 40 minutes, the hangover immense. :)