"We wanna use one but don't wanna choose one,
Didn't like the others so we'll write another…" ~ Dylan Beattie

"Here we go again." ~ David Guetta.

Right. Fine. Okay then. This is a talk about the great Agentic AI gold rush of 2025–26: the framework explosion, the definitional chaos (is a while loop an agent? discuss), the protocols nobody asked for, and our industry's infuriating habit of solving every new problem by inventing 400 incompatible solutions to it and then arguing on the internet. It is also, in the interests of full disclosure, a talk by someone who is currently building her own agentic coding harness, because of course she is, and who would like to explain, with diagrams, anecdotes and possibly interpretive dance, exactly why that is both completely ridiculous and the only sensible thing to do right now.

Bring your laptop. Don't open it.

Designed for keynotes, especially closing ones where everybody's tired and needs waking up.