Feedback loops is in the core of agile - it’s in the core of learning and growth. Yet we fail in giving/receiving meaningful personal feedback that people can hear and process. All this, even though there are many trainings and sessions on how to give feedback - and even when we are mindful on how to give it.

What if giving feedback is not where our focus should be the most?

What if the important thing is first to focus on receiving feedback rather than giving it?

In this talk, we will walk together through a model on how we can receive feedback in a way that we can understand the core of what the other wants to convey to us while also encouraging the other to give (more) feedback. This enables us to tap into the potential of finding the known unknowns (what other people see of us, but we don’t) - a crucial aspect of personal growth.

When we experience the joy of authentic feedback, to really listen the other on what is important for them to say - to listen the gift of feedback - then we can appreciate the challenge of giving it and steps on how to really make it meaningful. And at the same time, we can learn all the essential parts that can help us give meaningful feedback to others.

What we claim is, that experiencing the benefits of really listening feedback someone gives to us, is a crucial step for us in learning to set the stage for giving feedback. Because we also learn how to make the situation safe for both.
As Ruth Bebermeyer said in the poem Given to [edits by me],

> When you give to me [feedback], I give you my receiving [of the feedback]. When you take from me, I feel so given to.
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