Imagine if your favorite football team was run by tech geeks obsessed with metrics and frameworks. Welcome to an exploration of software engineering metrics (DORA, SPACE, etc.) applied to the beautiful game of football! We’ll discuss how these common engineering metrics relate to the foundational aspects of football, like: Failed Set Plays, Time Wasting, Yellow Cards, Recovery From Conceding a Goal, and number of times a player rolls across the pitch after being touched by a whiff from Ronaldo’s latest perfume. Let’s blend the worlds of DevOps and soccer and learn how these seemingly unrelated fields share more common ground than you might think.